if the key to a harmonious exsistance lies in one direction, i am afraid i have failed at harmony. i am afraid i have gone wrong, i am not so worried about it, but i know, that i have not been as strong to myself as i should have been in being brave and coming out here (where? why?). my reactions, freud, and karma have led me to regret and miss a certain feeling about life that wasnt even there.
everythings been done, the old road that felt like home is only a dream again above me now, all in retrospect. something about my all being, the true one. the one grown from careless days singing in a park. random magic behind some corner, lighting up a fire.
i was never cut out to be a wife. expectations are high, fire is slim in the sparking.
ive began crying on trains.