Monday, March 28, 2011

angelina in blue period

if the key to a harmonious exsistance lies in one direction, i am afraid i have failed at harmony. i am afraid i have gone wrong, i am not so worried about it, but i know, that i have not been as strong to myself as i should have been in being brave and coming out here (where? why?). my reactions, freud, and karma have led me to regret and miss a certain feeling about life that wasnt even there.

 everythings been done, the old road that felt like home is only a dream again above me now, all in retrospect. something about my all being, the true one. the one grown from careless days singing in a park. random magic behind some corner, lighting up a fire.

i was never cut out to be a wife. expectations are high, fire is slim in the sparking.
ive began crying on trains.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

set me free

little girl, i was.
tank girl, i love.
singing the blues in a teepee last night around the fire after we made our offerings under the bridge.
frank is his name, kin spirit, julian fingures.
summer will be a good one this time if we keep this up.

Friday, March 25, 2011

wish i didnt have so much

spring in the south german country gets me very very excited, for the brown and the skin, and my longing to dress like a skank like i used to and find my dirty old man who sits somewhere in the back of my brain. spring, is a very confusing time of year, because although you get some days where the sun is hot that shines through the window of a cold room, you want to break free.  you want to feel warm naked in the grass. everything else that needs to be done is thrown over the head and dropped down to the floor in a great pile of chaos.
no work at the sex shop today-
the chaos has eatin me whole, ive gotten thinner. so  i will start with a coffee. so i will drink right here and think of you.
i will roll one up and lighte the fire, i hear the bees trapped amongst the corners. theyre gonna die.

i should probably pop in the shower. im starting to smell like a walt whitman prayer.
sometime i will make it out to the city. gotta buy toilett paper, and dish soap.
bring my 79. euro vibrator back to dr. müllers that i bought last year alittle after serg left.
its broken and ive thrown away the packaging and lost the receipt.

Friday, March 18, 2011

stop bein a dick

another bottle of wine, two paintings, sergiy in the kitchen, chocoloate pancakes, me, chain smoking.

you better tattoo me soon, ya hear.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Meistens bewölkt
Aktuell: Meistens bewölkt
Wind: O mit Windgeschwindigkeiten von 21 mph
Feuchtigkeit: 81 %
70° | 52°
61° | 52°
70° | 54°
74° | 56°
Meistens bewölkt
Aktuell: Meistens bewölkt
Wind: SW mit Windgeschwindigkeiten von 5 mph
Feuchtigkeit: 71 %
Vereinzelt Regen
48° | 37°
Vereinzelt Regen
50° | 33°
Meist sonnig
57° | 37°
55° | 39°

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

birthday package

thanks grandma for the wonderful box, open my 23rd birthday-- i am unsure of whats going on, or what to do rather, little hurrahs and maybe even a candle. working at the sex shop wondering if i should or shouldnt but just take a look at the dancing girls here and maybe my discount could pay off and next months sergiy bday whoohoo rock your socks off should be pretty good, but then theres this thought about moving out of the junkyard, and deeper into the city, diluted. i just dont know talking to myself.
list of items in the package:
1.krazy string
2.hat with fake fur.
3.soup secrets lipton extra noodle chicken broth
4. paris hilton yess yes, our impression of can can eau de parfum
5. keepsake 3D cutout stickers (brief case, flipflops w/martini and flower and one of a palm tree)
6.four pictures
7.swissmiss chocolate milk mix
8. bikini underwear
10. yess yess can can body lotion.
11. little black hat
12.pajama set including socks eye mask
13..hand pressing flashlight(yellow w/batteries)
14.arietta body lotion
15.two little pots that comes with sunflowers you can grow dont forget me nots---
16. jewlry oraganizing hanger
17. ritz crakers
18. a package of highlighters
19. a package  of big markers ( double sided)
20. bird and butterfly wildflower seed blend.
21 granola bar, sweet&salty nut peanut.
22. ouija board necklace, followed with a note and two cards
23. 23 dollors and one to grow on.